The Life and times of Miles Stripefang
by Freelancer400
Summary: No huge story arc here. Just Episodes and Adventures from a curious character. Please review, and thanks in advance for reading.
1. Enter Miles Stripefang

Miles was sitting in the boughs of a tree, watching for travelers he could bother. This was one of his favorite things to do, because he enjoyed meeting and talking with new people. Oh, and he's not a squirrel, he's a badger. A young badger, actually, about 17 seasons. You may be asking, "What is a normal badger like him doing in a tree? Aren't badgers usually dignified, and wise, and all that?" Well, Miles isn't really a normal badger. He's friendly, to be sure, but he's not at all dignified. In fact, he can sometimes be quite childish. Oh yeah, and his eyes are blank. Just white. It's not certain what caused them to be that way, but Miles knew that it was at least some accident many seasons back. Unfortunately, he could not remember what kind of accident. He just assumed he was dropped on his head, or something. But he didn't worry about it anymore, because it no longer mattered. Granted, his vision is a little bit blurry, but he only needs spectacles to read. He was clad in a plaid kilt, even though he wasn't from the Northlands. He just like how they looked. He even had those doohickeys that hang in the front.

Miles heaved a sigh of boredom and plucked an apple from the branch above him. As he began munching, he noticed a telltale dot in the distance. Miles grinned that dot, he knew, was a traveller. As he waited for it to get closer, he got a good look at it. It was a female, but he couldn't tell what kind of beast she was. She was large, and looked a little bit like a badger, but she was black, with only a broad white stripe down her back. She had a determined look on her face, and Miles noticed the dagger in its small hilt on her hip. Miles was about to jump down to meet her, but hesitated. That beast was carrying a weapon, and obviously was intending to kill someone. Besides, how would he know whether she would be hostile to him? Miles decided to stay in the tree as he waited for her to walk closer.

As the strange beast walked in front of Miles, he flung his apple core at her. The core bounced off her head, and she instinctively looked up in alarm and wrath at the source of the projectile fruit. Miles was looking to his left as though he hadn't done it, then looked as though he just noticed her. "Hullo there. How are you this fine day?" Miles then turned his gaze to the discarded apple, and wrinkled his brow in mock concern. "Oy, did somethin' throw that at ya? I'm sorry, 'twas the apple-squirrels wot did it. They're always into mischief, you see, and they enjoy in particular to-"

"Shut up, Stripedog! I'm not in the mood for you stupid pranks and lies. Pfft! 'Apple-squirrels!' If you're gonna lie, at least do it well!"

Mile jutted his lower lip and turned his nose up. "Hmph! Call me a Stripedog, will ye? Well _you're_ just stupid."

But the strange beast was already on her way. She had more important things to do than talk to a deranged badger. Miles noticed that she was leaving and dropped out of the tree. He rushed up to meet her, and promptly began to ask her questions.

"So, where are you going?"

For a few moments she didn't answer, and then, "Going to settle an old score."

Miles looked her up and down. "Pardon my askin', missie, but what exactly _are _you?"

She shot Miles a bitter look. "Don't call me 'Missie'. Ever. My name is Lupus. And if you _must _know what I am, I'm a Honey Badger. Honey Badgers aren't from Mossflower. We're from a different continent altogether."

Miles frowned. "Continent?"

Lupus sighed. "A continent is a huge mass of land. Farther across than the eye can see. Lupus paused, then looked back toward Miles, "Look, why are you bugging me? Why don't you just go back to your stupid tree? You'd do more good up there."

Miles feigned a look of intense sorrow. "Well… okay… if that's what you really think of me…"Miles trudged off into Mossflower Woods, the picture of dejectedness.

"And good riddance." Lupus once more set her thoughts to getting even with the one who did her wrong.


	2. Miles helps a friend

**Thanks to everyone who read my first chapter, and especially to those who reviewed. I was very pleased to see ferretWARLORD actually liked my story. By the way, I sort of lied in the description. There will be one or two story arcs, but they'll be very small. Anywho, time for part 2!**

As the sun began to lower, Lupus was still on the trail of her quarry. Well, technically, she wasn't really _on the trail_, since she lost his trail a while back, but she knew he was headed north, and she hoped she could pick up his trail once again. Her thoughts wandered back to the creature she met earlier, the one who threw fruit at her. She scowled. He must have been daft. Yeah, that's it.

Her thoughts were interrupted when she noticed a thin trail of smoke coming from the east. It was just barely noticeable, probably the smoldering remains of a fire. Lupus sprinted toward the fire, hoping that it belongs to the beast she's after.

Once the camp was in sight, she slowed down, alert for signs of activity in the camp. Looking left and right, she decided that it was abandoned. She quietly scanned the camp for something that would betray her quarry's direction. As she quietly searched, a voice to her right made her heart stop.

"Hey! What are you doin' poking aroun' there?"

Lupus slowly looked up, cursing her bad luck. She knew before she saw the hulking wildcat that it was her target, Lauandur.

"Git your paws up and 'trow down any weapons you got." Lupus obliged, unbuckling the small hilt holding her dagger. Lauandur clarified: "_All_ your weapons." She begrudgingly complied, dropping a knife hidden under her cloak, and a small bag containing nightshade berries, for a possible silent murder. Lauandur carefully took the small pile , and retreated to his former position. "Now," he said, "what are you doing aroun' here?"

Lupus replied, "I think you know why I'm here. I'll have you know that my father is a generous beast, but he doesn't take kindly to those who abuse the money entrusted to them."

Lauandur snarled, "You don' understand! I owed a debt to the chieftain of that clan of weasels. They 'ad to see their gold _that day._ Or else," Lauandur drew a claw in front of his neck and imitated the sound of a beheading. "Thankfully, your father was generous enough to entrust me with all that I needed, and I'm sure your father would trade a little bit o' shiny coins to keep 'is good friend safe, eh?"

Lupus replied sharply, "You are no longer a friend of my father. He expects his friends to keep their promises."

"That makes me his enemy, right? And I know what your father does with his enemies." Lupus' blood ran cold. Lauandur knew what she came here for. The brawny wildcat unsheathed a beautiful broadsword, and drew mock pity. "I'm afraid I can't let you kill me, Lupus. I'm a busy beast. I've got important things to do."

Lupus shifted her eyes to and fro for a possible escape. To her left, she saw a river in the distance. That wouldn't do, she wasn't a very good swimmer, and the water looked swift, shooting small froths of foam here and there. As she darted her eyes to the right, an arrow suddenly zipped through past her head ad buried itself in Lauandur's thigh. The Wildcat screeched in pain and grasped his leg. Without warning, a huge paw grasped her shoulder and pulled her behind the tree. Before she could even react, she was swept up into the arms of a large beast. Frightened, she looked at the face of her savior, and gaped as she recognized a familiar striped muzzle.

"You!" she exclaimed in disbelief.

Miles smiled. "Yes, me." Miles looked over his shoulder at Lauandur, who was currently scooting towards a tree trunk, amid swears. "We'd better leave here." Miles commented. Before Lupus could object, they took off through the forest.

Badgers aren't very fast runners, but for his species, he was fairly quick, especially considering his precious burden. As Miles ran through the forest, Lupus noticed the bow on Miles' back. She wondered how a juvenile prankster- living in peace, it seemed- would be good with a bow. Not to mention how he remained unseen by her wildcat charge (In actuality, Miles was aiming for Lauandur's knee, but he wasn't about to set the record straight). Miles fast approached a ditch, just over a full stride-length across. Miles sped over the ditch, extending his stride to make it over. An audible "snap" was heard, followed by a grunt of pain from Miles. He fell rather clumsily on the opposite bed of the former creek. Lupus sat up in pain, having but dumped on the ground after reaching the other side. She warily checked herself just to make sure she was okay. There was only a few scrapes (honey badgers have naturally thick skin, there was no blood) Other than that and a few bruises, Lupus was completely fine. She looked over at Miles who was currently on his knees, clutching his groin.

Miles looked up and noticed Lupus looking at him in disbelief and confusion. He smiled sheepishly and explained, "Dislocated groin." He had over-extended his stride in the leap over the creekbed. Lupus merely put her face in her paw. Was this really the same beast she first met earlier today? First he throws an apple at her, then saves her, and is finally brought to his knees in an embarrassing fashion.

Something clicked in Lupus' brain. Something she should have thought about long when she first noticed Miles. Lupus snapped the branch off a nearby tree and began smacking Miles over the head. "WHY. WERE. YOU. FOLLOWING. MEEE?!", Punctuating each word with a smack over his head.

Miles threw up his hand to stop raining blows. "I didn't really mean any harm. (ow) but I was just bored. (ow)"

Lupus flung the branch away. "That's _not _an excuse, you… buffoon!"

Miles looked down in shame. "I know…"

Lupus hadn't really expected Miles to give up without a fight. She sighed and sat down. She couldn't go back to her father without Lauandur's body. He'd probably be gone by now, but… with an arrow wound in his thigh, he couldn't be far, and even without her weapons, she could easily snuff him out now. She looked around, indecisive, then carefully jumped the ditch, fully intending to face him again.

Miles walked towards her, "You aren't leaving, are you?"

Lupus didn't answer.

Miles figured that she didn't want him around anymore. Following her again would just mean another beating. He considered giving her his utility knife just in case, but decided against it, as he didn't want to get involved with the conflict between Lupus and that huge wildcat. Miles wasn't even sure who- if either of them- was in the right. Miles started back home, setting a brisk pace as the sun was setting, and Miles did not want to be caught in Mossflower at night. Miles' right paw wandered to his head to assess the damage. There were a few lumps, and Miles wandered what kind of blow it took to receive brain damage. He chuckled slightly. He knew (or, at least liked to say to himself) that any brains he ever had were lost long ago. Finding the path a few minutes later, he looked to his right and just barely saw the top of the belltower for Redwall Abbey, hidden between two treetops. It occurred to Miles that he hasn't visited his Redwall friends in almost a season, even though he promised himself (and others) that he would visit more often. Miles recalled any chores he might have tomorrow that he would need to do. He counted a total of 7 things that needed to be done on his fingers. He looked at them, then figured his responsibilities could wait another day or so. He knew for a fact that the abbeydwellers would be having their Fall Harvest Feast soon, and he didn't want to miss it.

Miles looked towards the distant abbey decisively. He would set out for Redwall tomorrow to enjoy one of their legendary feasts.

**There it is, chapter 2. Lupus is gone for now, but we'll see her again sometime. I got the idea for Miles' next activity off the top of my head, which wasn't hard since Thanksgiving is coming up. It will be hard to make up enough characters for the feast, so I would appreciate it if anyone would PM me with any character ideas, or even your own characters, I would appreciate it. I know "buffoon" is a really lame insult, but I can hardly think of any of those poetic insults Jacques uses.**

**Question of the day: What do you want to see in the Fall Harvest Feast?**


	3. Welcome to the Abbey

It was a bright morning that day. A little bit on the chilly side, but it was bearable. Miles shivered under a gust of wind. He cursed himself for nor bringing a cloak. He hadn't really forgotten it, though. It was just too dirty too wear, and Miles was too lazy to wash it.

The Abbey came into view in the late morning. Miles was munching on a scone he brought for breakfast, while simultaneously picking up the pace. He was determined not to miss out on lunch at the abbey.

"Malitae! Oh, where is he?" Canda, the badger mother, had been looking for the mischievous dibbun for most of the day. Every time she found him, he managed to get away. She had looked in all of his favorite hiding places, except for one. She knocked on the gatehouse, followed by a "come in" from within. Canda opened the door. The gatekeeper had his nose in some old abbey records containing old stories from before his time.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Mister Risus, but I'm having trouble finding Malitae. Could he possibly be in here?"

The otter answered without looking up. "I'm afraid I haven't, miss. Sorry." He made the slightest nod to the armchair in the corner.

Canda hurried over there and looked under. "Aha! Come here, you little rogue!" She pulled out a squirming mousebabe.

"You let me go!" he squeaked. "I chop you tail off!"

Canda lightly boxed his ears. "What language! Now, I wonder who taught you that?" putting more emphasis on the last sentence.

Risus buried his face further in the book.

A rap sounded at the gate, a sort of modified, "shave-and-a-haircut-two-bits" rhythm, followed by a, "Hi there!"

Risus rose from his chair and left for the gate. "Is that who I think it is? The gate was opened, and Miles walked in. "Miles! 'ow have you been, mate?"

Miles caught Risus in a big, bear (badger?) hug. "I've been great! 'ow are things at Redwall, eh?"

Canda watched from the gatehouse doorway and rolled her eyes. They were both acting immature for their age. She looked over Malitae. "My, my, look how dirty you are. Let's get you cleaned up right away. The mousbabe's eyes widened in terror at the prospect of a bath. Canda made her way to the main building, Malitate wailing the whole way there.

Risus was set down, and caught the breath that was driven from him. "Oh, things are just fine. In fact, tomorrow's the Fall Harvest Feast. I bet that's what you came for, eh?"

"Well, I _did _promise to visit more often. I didn't miss lunch did I?"

"Well, Friar Coque has already served lunch, but it's not too late to get something. He usually cooks more food than is necessary, for reasons like this."

The two friends walked into the abbey, where there was general surprise and happiness to see an old friend. The entire abbey was abuzz in the anticipation and preparation of the Fall Harvest Feast. The abbeydwellers were all more than happy to lend help to whatever chores needed to be done. Miles spent most of his time playing with the dibbuns and bothering the more, "serious" personalities of the abbey.

Those in the abbey slept peacefully that night, with high expectations for the next day.

**I'm up to a whopping **_**3 **_**reviews now, so thanks to those who took the time to review. **

**ferretWARLORD: More will be told about Lupus soon. I can't say when, but soon.**


	4. The Feast, and an unexpected visitor

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Mistah Miles! Sleepyhead! Get outta bed!" Curio, the dibbun squireel was knocking at Miles' door, willing him to get out of bed.

Sister Vultus, the Infirmary Sister, happened to hear the commotion and hurried towards the young squirrelbabe.

"Now what's all this about? Has Miles overslept?"

Curio nodded his little head. "Yes, Sistah Vultah. He's been sleeping forevah!"

Vultus wrinkled her face. She then said, rather loudly, "Well 'twould be in his best interests to wake up and begin preparing for the feast later today. I'm certain he doesn't want a rude awakening like _last time."_

Miles' blank eyes shot open. He quickly and begrudgingly began to get dressed. He remembered all too well the last time he slept in. Sister Vultus had commented that morning that, Miles was "a really deep sleeper, and the foolproof way to wake a body up; is to douse them in water." Miles didn't take her seriously. He spent the rest of that morning in the largest habit available (Even though it was still a bit small) while his clothes dried.

Miles checked the position of the Sun outside his window. It was hidden behind some clouds directly overhead. He frowned. He planned on sleeping in past noon, mostly in an effort to avoid work. When Miles felt ready, he left his guest room and made his way downstairs.

As Miles walked downstairs, he caught a glimpse of Canda at one of the Cavern Hole tables, trying to persuade a young dibbunmaid to eat its lunch. Miles hesitated, checked his reflection in a nearby frame, and made his way confidently downstairs.

Canda looked up to see the newcomer. Oh Miles, it's you. I see you've decided to wake up today."

"Wha'? Oh, hi Canda, I didn't see you there. As a matter o' fact, I was gone all morning helpin' Eris move the wine barrels aroun' the cellar."

"Oh really? Well, Sister Vultus told me that you slept in all morning, and she nearly had to douse you in cold water again."

Miles had hoped she had forgotten about that incident. "Meh. I wouldna trust her."

Just then, Eris the cellarhog poked her head from out of the cellar door. "Hi there, Miles! Now that you're awake, you can help me get ready for the feast today.

Miles turned around and gave her a half-serious glare. "You came a' just the wrong time, my friend."

The Feast started as the Sun was making its descent to the horizon. All the abbeydwellers gathered in the Great Hall for the delicious meal they were about to receive. As usual, Miles sat next to his friend Risus.

After the blessing was made, the creatures all around began to dig in. There was talk of abbey life, and of family living outside the abbey. They expressed joy and concern, humor and sadness, work and play.

Miles noticed that Risus was staring at the female otter twins (known as Geminas and Geminos) a few chairs down. Miles took this opportunity to swipe some food from Risus' plate before asking him, "I've noticed yew looking a' those twins down there. Yew like them, aye?"

"Is it really that obvious?" was the reply.

Miles shook his head. "No. It's no' like I've noticed it or anythin'"

Risus ignored the comment and continued; "They're just so… you know… pretty. And uh… nice. And that sort of thi- Hey! Someone's swiped my food!"

Miles looked away. "It was one of the dibbuns."

"Aye. An overgrown dibbun wearin' a plaid skirt!"

Miles' head snapped back to look at Risus. "It's NOT a SKIRT. It's a KILT."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant to say, 'maleskirt.'"

Before Miles could make a comeback, he noticed a small bunch of Redwallers standing near the end of the table, talking in hushed voices. He caught words like; "wildcat", "injured" and a couple words which really caught his attention: "honey badger."

Interested, Miles left his seat and walked to the small group. "Honey Badger? In the Abbey?"

A male mouse shook his head. "This is sort of private, Miles. We don't really want to disturb the Feast with information of an injured bea-"

"_Injured?_ She's 'urt?"

The mouse was about to continue, when a squirrel by the name of Scondit interjected. "Wait, how did you know the gender?"

"Well, I think I saw the beast yer talkin' about a few days ago."

"Do you know anything about her?"

"Well, she was lookin' fer some beast. A wildcat, I think it was."

By now, several Redwallers became interested in all the hushed talk, and were clearly trying to hear what was being said. Scondit noticed this and motioned for Miles and those gathered to follow. "Come. Let's find someplace a bit more quiet where we can talk. And perhaps our friend here can shed more light on the subject."


End file.
